12 Terrible Eye Jokes

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405 North Canton Center
Canton, Michigan 48187
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Details: Written by Client Content Manager; Published: 13 March 2024

Why did the guy try to avoid eye surgery by rubbing ketchup in his eyes? He had heard that Heinz sight was 20/20.
Patient: “Doc, I get a stabbing pain in my eye every time I take a sip of coffee." Doctor: “Have you tried taking the spoon out of the mug?"
What do you call a penguin with no eye? A pengun!
At what elevation is your vision the best? See Level.
Why don’t optometrists use tape measures? They’re really good at eyeballing it.
What did the eyeball say to the eyelid? "I wish you wouldn't keep me in the dark!"
Why did the pirate walk into the bar? He had his patch on the wrong eye.
Cop: “Let me know if you see the suspect with one eye.” Bystander: “I already saw him run that way, but I was using both my eyes.”
Man 1: “I stopped seeing my girlfriend two days ago.” Man 2: “Really? What happened?” Man 1: “She accidentally poked me in the eyes.”
Woman 1: “I used to date a man with a lazy eye.” Woman 2: “Why did you stop?” Woman 1: “He was seeing someone on the side.”
Patient: “Doc, my eyes are really dry.” Eye Doctor: “Here, smell this onion.” Patient: “That made me cry!” Eye Doctor: “Great, I pulled out the onion to make you moist-your-eyes.”
How are your eye doctor and your teacher the same? They both spend their days testing pupils!

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Welcome to Eye Definition

Our optometric practice proudly serves Canton, MI and the surrounding Westland, Plymouth, Northville, Belleville, Livonia, Ann Arbor, and Ypsilanti communities with quality service and a friendly staff. Dr. Jay Lizyness takes great pride in offering every patient the absolute best in vision care, whether through fitting them with eyeglasses or contact lenses, diagnosing cataracts, glaucoma, and other eye diseases, or recommending LASIK and other eye surgery procedures.

Our expert optometrist and experienced staff will take the time to answer all of your questions, explain treatment options, and provide the highest quality eye health treatments available.

Built on the foundation of patient convenience and satisfaction, Eye Definition serves all of your family’s eye care needs under one roof. Come visit our modern facility and friendly doctor and staff! Call our office at (734) 667-4704 to schedule and exam or book your appointment online.